Week in Review: 1/31/11

How do you measure the worth of a man? Is it in the company he keeps? Is it by the greatness of his successes? Are you automatically considered legendary if you can maintain a sweet beard? These are questions that have plagued mankind for years (with the exception of the last one, since the answer is clearly ‘yes’.) As a young man, my father taught me lesson after lesson, most of which came through the game of baseball. I can vividly remember watching Barry Larkin beat out an infield grounder to the shortstop once, and I squealed like a David Archuleta fan. I’d never seen someone hustle like that on a routine play. My father leaned in and said, “Remember that. Even if it looks like a sure thing, hustle.” My father has been in and out of baseball fandom for years, always popping up to make seemingly perfect observations on obscure events and pointedly brilliant comments on the sport’s biggest events. He doesn’t have cable, and only sees games in bars. He despises the team that resides in the town he lives in. He is a fan of unique power. And this past week, I couldn’t help but think of that moment with Larkin when I looked down to a vibrating phone and found a text message from my father. It read: “Hahahahahahaha… Bartolo Colon is back in the majors. Welcome to hell.” It became clear to me then, after all these years, what the measure of a man is. If my father is willing to crawl out of the cave of silence to comment on your putrid ability, well then you, my friend, aren’t worth a damn.

On to the news.

Winner of the Week: Mike Napoli

Did this guy win an episode of Wheel Of Fortune that we don’t know about? Because in a 9 day span, he’s been a member of three different teams, and has been on a whirlwind trip spanning two different countries. After being traded from the Angels to the Blue Jays at the end of last week, Napoli was promptly shipped south to the Rangers, where he’ll presumably play ball in 2011. That is unless he has some frequent flier miles we don’t know about, and gets shipped to the Mets this week. The guy goes from the perennial front runner in the AL West, to a quick stop in America’s top hat, before settling in the new favorite to take the West crown? Incredible turn of events for a guy you can’t possibly hate. He plays hard, keeps his nose clean, and puts up respectable numbers year in and year out. It’s nice when good things happen to the good guys.

Losers of the Week: The Florida Marlins

Baseball fans around the country have long wondered whether baseball belonged in the state of Florida, and our answer came this week. In case you missed it, the Marlins were forced to move a series with the Mariners from Florida to Seattle this week, in anticipation of Hurricane Bono. That’s right, the Marlins were forced out of their own stadium in order to accommodate a U2 concert. Amazingly, the concert isn’t even set to take place on one of the game days. The band needed time to prepare the stadium for a concert taking place AFTER the series was set to end. Want proof that the most glorious game on the planet doesn’t belong in that miserable state? Look no further. Getting kicked out of your stadium so they can fill it to the brim with U2 fans is one thing. But getting kicked out so U2’s roadies can take their time prepping the stadium? Well, you’ve lost all credibility as a team.

Let’s Turn Two

It was reported this week that the Orioles are in intense discussions with DH Vladimir Guerrero, which brings up an interesting possibility.

With the possible addition of Vlad, the offseason additions of Mark Reynolds and Derrek Lee, and the developing talent of Adam Jones, Nick Markakis, and nutcase Luke Scott, the Orioles could be a top 5 offense next season. They have all the potential in the world. This is an eclectic mixture of talents, sure, but it provides an important element to this lineup that the Orioles haven’t had in a long time: protection. If Vlad decides to jump on board, that’s six legitimate big league hitters, all of which able to work counts (except Vlad, who swings at pitches when his team is in the field). What is Luke Scott capable off when you can’t pitch around him? I’d be interested to find out. We saw what Vlad was capable of in a lineup stacked with hitters. Granted, this isn’t the offensive power plant that he was with in Texas, but it’s an absolutely solid line up. Sure, they play in a division with stacked pitching, and sure, they’re a very strange mixture of rising and falling stars. But, it’s the kind of ragtag, misfit lineup that should be the subject of a lackluster Hollywood flick about the Little Engine That Could win it all. The question remains: Will it be more Major League, or more Major League: Back To The Minors? I’m betting on the former.

Balls And Strikes

-Brian Cashman declared that Derek Jeter might be ready for a switch to CF here soon. My question is, when did Jeter bang Cashman’s wife? Cashman’s spent most of this offseason trying to piss Jeter off.

-The D-Banks get the man of almost perfection, Armando Galarraga, which is funny, because this trade almost makes the D-Banks relevant.

-Johnny Cueto was inked by the Reds to a length extension, continuing the spending spree of the Redlegs this offseason. Better nickname for the fierce Reds pitching threesome of Cueto, Chapman, and Volquez: the Three Amigos, or the Spanish Armada?

-Rickie Weeks sets a Spring Training deadline for his negotiations with the Brewers this offseason. He’s like Albert Pujols, minus the talent.

-Yankees’ President Randy Levine retaliated to a comment by new Rangers executive Chuck Greenburg about Cliff Lee by saying that Greenburg should get the Rangers off “welfare” first. Is it just me, or have the Yankees become a ridiculous evil Republican running against the lighthearted, Democratic family man candidate in a Hollywood movie, like in The American President or Head Of State?

-In this week’s episode of “As The Pujols Turns”, it was revealed that Pujols will veto any trade attempt by the Cardinals if a contract can’t be agreed on. The real question is: who’s the father of Chris Carpenter’s baby?

Bottom of the Ninth

We’re speeding quickly towards Spring Training, and there’s still no contract for Big Al. Can the Cardinals afford to let the face of their franchise, and possibly the league, soar into free agency?

Until next time, let the thought of Manny Ramirez’s diving cutoff in short left field put a smile on your face.

So long, folks.

Bud Selig Claims to Have Won Children’s Game, Desperate for Attention

MLB Commissioner Grasps for Attention During Deadly Lull of Winter

Depressed, unshaven, and dirty, Major League Baseball’s Commissioner Bud Selig recently called a press conference to announce that he, through sheer will and perseverance, had managed to “win” ball in a cup, the children’s toy that is, for all intents and purposes, is unbeatable.

“I did it!” cried a jubilant Selig, literally crying as tears poured down his grubby beard.

“I managed to conquer an insurmountable challenge by beating ball in a cup. This is a reflection, in large part, of the excellent ability and skill that the MLB has to offer the American audience, which will renew its epic travails March 30, 2011.”

“Please, God, make it March 30 tomorrow…today.”

When pressed to explain how he managed to beat a children’s toy that, frankly, has no logical way of being beaten, Selig proceeded to launch into a 45-minute monologue about America’s pastime, the history of the sport, and the role it plays in American society and why it is an untouchable pillar.

“Without question, this ball in a cup victory is nothing when compared to the [World Series champion] Giants coming out of nowhere to claim the title, or the homerun chase of 1998. I mean, come on, those guys were knocking balls out of the park at a ridiculous rate! People were screaming their lungs out! Everyone was talking about that chase! WHY IS OUR OFFSEASON SO LONG?”

Selig immediately concluded his rant by throwing DVDs of the historic homerun chase out to everyone in the room, also mentioning that boxes of the DVDs had been loaded into their cars during the press conference and would be sent wherever and to whomever they wanted, so long as they shared them for free to remind people that baseball existed.

“March 30 is only, what, one hundred days away? Two hundred? Five?” raved Selig, foaming at the mouth and grossly overestimating the length of time from late January to March, also forgetting that here are only 365 days in the calendar year.

“It’s going to be here before we know it!” he screamed, just before loading a pitching machine and shooting baseballs at the gathered media members, screaming that if they didn’t start writing about baseball again he would “make sure they would never forget about baseball by putting one between their eyes.”

The baseball winter meetings, having concluded almost two months ago, have been long forgotten by the general public, and the thrilling NFL playoffs, the coming NBA All-Star break, and the NHL regular season have pushed it even further from the mind of the fans.

“The Super Bowl? What’s that?” responded Selig when asked who he had in the upcoming NFL title game. “Isn’t the White Sox stadium nicknamed the Super Bowl?” When reminded that the White Sox played in U.S. Cellular field, Selig simply responded, “You bet your ass they do.”

The press conference adjourned abruptly when Selig leapt to his feet and sprinted from the room shouting that he had just remembered how to cure cancer and had to finish his time travel device to go back in time and save everyone that had died of it, making sure to mention Major League Baseball to each of the now-survivors.

Week in Review: 1/24/11

With the influx of shows like 16 And Pregnant, practically begging the youth of the country to become raging, hormonal crazies, I’m sure parents out there are wondering how in the hell it’s possible to raise a civilized, level-headed young person. The answer is simple: make them umpire little league baseball. I did it when I was younger, and look how sweet I’ve turned out: writing for free on the internet, just like I always dreamed.

In all seriousness though, it’s impossible not to mature wearing that light blue cotton shirt, which managed to act like some sort of malfunctioning Under Armor, trapping every unit of summer heat in your body.

You develop tough skin, like the time I was told by a mother of a 9-year-old that my “fat ass should open its eyes.” I opted against letting her know how badly her high school anatomy class had failed her, and proceeded to eject her from the game instead. You see? It’s an easy lesson to learn: don’t deal with a problem face-to-face; abuse your power so you don’t have to.

Do you want to teach your kids about crisis management? Try ending the semi-finals of the city’s championship tournament on a balk, sending the parents of the losing team into a whirlwind of anger, drunken breath fumes, and racial epithets. If you’re worried about your child fostering communication skills, let them have a conversation with a parent who’s begging you to apologize to his child for ruining the poor fella’s season. If you can talk your way out of that, you can talk your way out of anything.

Now that I think about it, this might be the most abusive thing you can do for your child. I mean, it really can be hell. But the money is good. And there’s a free hot dog involved after every game. So, what can your kid really complain about?

On to the news…

Winner of the Week: Tampa Bay Rays

What choice did these guys have? They’ve been contenders for the past couple years, but after a debilitating offseason, in which they lost a good portion of their offensive pop, the Rays were left with the need for an impact hitter to fill their DH spot. The Rays decided no individual player was worth pursuing, they decided to bring two former Red Sox together to play the part. Damon and Ramirez are now the Captain Planet of the AL East. With their powers combined, they are Captain Offense! They can hit righties, they can hit lefties; the Damon half can even play some decent outfield at times. Plus, for a combined salary of a little over $7 million, they don’t break the bank. I truly believe a healthy Manny can be a productive Manny. With the rest he’s going to get in Tampa, he can strike some fear into the pitchers of baseball’s best division. Damon is a really versatile player, can play some solid left field when needed, and adds some real leadership to this team. The Rays may not have done enough to exceed the talent of the Yankees or Red Sox, but they’ve got a much better shot now.

Losers of the Week: Former Greats Who Roided

Roger Clemens requested this week that his charges be dismissed, on the grounds that there are too many complaints about him for one single charge. Are we, as citizens of this country, allowed to do that? Are we allowed to request that a charge be dismissed because, in reality, we’ve done so much more than that one thing? That’s an amazing thing. Despite the fact that I watch more Law and Order than any one man should, I can’t say that I’ve ever seen that particular defense. “Your Honor, this charge of murder is outrageous. They’ve listed dozens of other murders on this one complaint, so shouldn’t I be charged with all those other murders instead?” Grade A legal team you’ve got there, Roger.

In addition, it was announced that Barry Bonds would be facing a variable plethora of witnesses in his trial, including former players of the game he desecrated. Is anyone else getting a Seinfeld finale feel to this? I’m thinking the Soup Nazi is going to pop up somewhere in this madness. If that’s what it takes to get this guy behind bars and out of my life, so be it.

Let’s Turn Two

Yankees GM Brian Cashman refused to attach his name to the Soriano signing from last week, confirming what everyone already knew. Being the GM for the Yankees is like being the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys: it looks nice on a resume, sure, and every once in a while your boss may let you make a decision, but we all know who’s wearing the pants. So, the question remains, why do the Yankees even have a GM? If his decisions all have to be cleared by the Steinbrenner clan, why not just make him a consultant, and take all the credit? The answer is simple. The Yankees will always operate in a way that allows the higher ups to have somewhere to shift the blame. If this Soriano thing fails, Cashman will be under heat, and it’s ridiculous. At least Jerry Jones operates under his true title. The Steinbrenner regime needs to step up and do the same.

Balls And Strikes

-The Yankees signed Andruw Jones this week, which is a big deal in 1999.

-The Angels discovered they had a butt load of money lying around unused, so they decided to give it all to Vernon Wells. $23 million for a player worth half of that at best; sounds like the real estate industry over the past 10 years.

-Nolan Ryan predicted 90-95 wins for the Rangers this year. Just one time, I want an owner to come out in the off-season and declare, “We’re going to be mind-numbingly awful this year. Get over it.”

-Not baseball related, but is anyone else jacked to see who this cowboy is in the Budweiser commercials on Super Bowl Sunday? If it’s anything less than Will Ferrell, I’m going to be enraged.

Bottom of the Ninth

No deal for Pujols yet. With the Reds working on deals with Cueto and Volquez, the NL Central’s push to resign some of theyr young stars should be a high light. What team will Vlad find himself with this week? Some pretty fun headlines heading towards February for us baseball fans.

Until next time, let the thought of Bobby Valentine wearing a fake mustache put a smile on your face.

So long folks.

Video: The End of the Beer Line

Sports fans, welcome to the future. We’re all sick of waiting in line for beer and missing an entire half inning. We’re sick of hearing “oh man, did you see that diving catch?!” No, no I didn’t, because I spent fifteen minutes trying to buy two beers.

Well that’s all over, with a new invention that pours beer from the bottom of the cup using some sort of magnet device that has yet to be properly explained to me.

Let this video do all of the necessary explanation, as these guys pour fifty-six beers in one minute. Amazing.

The future looks delicious.

Season in Review: Los Angeles Dodgers

Preseason Prediction: 2nd in NL West

Regular Season Outcome: 4th in NL West

Summary

With the exception of their top three starting pitchers–Clayton Kershaw, Chad Billingsly and Hiroki Kuroda–the Los Angeles Dodgers underperformed over the course of the 2010 season. Practically the entire roster is to blame (we’ll leave Andre Ethier’s .857 OPS alone, though I think he’s capable of better), but the worst offender was CFer Matt Kemp (read more below). Kemp was certainly not alone. James Loney made it clear to the world that he’s not a very good player. Casey Blake posted low numbers. Rafael Furcal missed significant time due to injury. And perhaps the most shocking fall-off, once dominant Closer Jonathan Broxton lost his touch, and soon after, his job in the 9th.

Yes, the season was filled with mediocrity for the Dodgers, as nobody seemed willing to step up to the plate and carry the team. And when you’re in the same division as the Giants and Rockies, that’s just not going to get it done. Joe Torre should have retired a year earlier.

High Point

Did you know Clayton Kershaw is only 22-years-old? You wouldn’t guess it if you’ve seen him pitch. The youngster followed up a brilliant 2009 with an even better 2010. His 212 strikeouts were fifth in the NL, while his 2.91 ERA found itself in the top ten. The team has a fairly strong staff, and Kershaw should find himself perched at the top for years to come.

Low Point

After posting OBPs of .340 and .352 in 2008 and 2009, all while playing strong defense, scouts and fans alike were beginning to call Matt Kemp one of the most exciting young players in the game. But with what has been diagnosed as a lack of focus and/or passion by many of his coaches, the 26-year-old found himself having a dismal 2010. He saw his OBP plummet to .310. He stole only 19 bases, while being caught fifteen times. His defense fell off as well–Fangraphs has his UZR at -24.0 after being 3.1 in 2009. It certainly was not a step in the right direction for this youngster, but what does he care? He’s dating Rihanna.

Ongoing Prognosis

The good news for the Dodgers could be on the frontier. After such a sub-par season, they have got to assume they can only go up. There is a ton of talent on this team, and if that talent is realized, the team can go far. I expect Kemp’s numbers to return to 2009 form. Additionally, I think this is the year that Ethier establishes himself as one of the best OFers in the league. The pitching staff will remain strong thanks to Kershaw and Billingsly. If the youngsters respond to Don Mattingly like some scouts have guessed, and the McCourts finally settle their divorce and spend some money on improvements, this team could be atop the NL West again. A safer prediction, however, has them finishing second behind the World Champion Giants.

The Top 5: Underrated Players in MLB

Sometimes life just isn’t fair. You work twenty-some years to become a Major League Baseball player, only to be drafted by the Pirates. Even if you hit .400, nobody is going to learn your name. Well here’s your chance at recognition, because this week’s list is:

The Top 5: Underrated Players in MLB

Tom Geiger

1. Shin-Soo Choo, OF, Cleveland Indians: Choo is every bit as effective as a healthy Grady Sizemore, though he doesn’t pull in quite as many female ticket holders.
2. Adam Dunn, 1B, Washington Nationals: Everybody knows who Dunn is, but more often than not the guy is criticized for his high strikeout rate (199 Ks last season). Dunn has consistently put up great power numbers (354 career homers at age 31) and always seems to get on base (.381 career OBP).
3. Colby Rasmus, CF, St. Louis Cardinals: Rasmus is young, and chances are he’ll be an all star in the near future (I would argue that he was snubbed this past season). For now, he’s quietly putting up impressive numbers and could easily be a five tool players with a little improvement on the base paths.
4. Gio Gonzalez, SP, Oakland Athletics: Like Rasmus, Gonzalez’ lack of experience is probably the only reason he’s relatively unrecognized. He and Trevor Cahill will continue to headline an up-and-coming Athletics staff in 2011.
5. Casey McGehee, 3B, Milwaukee Brewers: Though McGehee is a late bloomer and might not be a large factor in the long run, he has put up very respectable numbers in his first 1,000 ABs and is rarely mentioned amidst a potent Brewers lineup.

Michael Ferrera

1. Trevor Cahill – If he pitched for the Yankees/Red Sox/Phillies/Mets, Rick Reilly would’ve already done a Homecoming episode on him.
2. Billy Butler – Put him on a contender and he’ll have 120 RBIs. Then people will start paying attention.
3. Felix Hernandez – The mere fact that there was a debate about who would win the AL Cy Young Award this year shows he’s underrated.
4. Shin-Soo Choo – A cheaper Carl Crawford. Although I feel like he won’t be underrated for much longer.
5. David Eckstein – Just kidding. David Eckstein sucks.

Jonathan Gardner

1. Brian McCann – A bit of a homer choice, sure, but Mac has been worth 4-6 WAR every full season except one, already has hit over 100 HR, generates great offense out of the most difficult defensive position on the field, and always loses to Yadier Molina in the All-Star voting.
2. Ryan Zimmerman – Underrating is an issue of degrees so while Zimmerman is widely acknowledged to be a good player, he doesn’t get nearly enough credit for being the superstar he is, probably because he is hidden away on a team whose opening day starting pitcher will be Livan Hernandez.
3. Anibal Sanchez – Did you know that in 2010, Sanchez had a higher WAR than Cole Hamels, a lower ERA than Francisco Liriano and more Ks than Matt Garza? Because before researching this article, I did not.
4. Jason Hammel – Hammel strikes out 7 guys per 9 innings while walking 2. He has a 93 mph fastball and a plus slider, but unfortunately, he pitches in Coors Field, so his numbers don’t look as good as they could.
5. Adrian Beltre – The secret is kind of out after his excellent 2010 in Fenway, but Beltre was a productive offensive player in the cavernous Safeco Field and is an excellent defensive player, yet is still considered to be a “contract year” guy.

Dan Sweatt

1. Scott Rolen – Yes, he’s the one name you should recognize immediately on my list. But he does all the little things that don’t have stats, like running the bases and finding a way not to murder Dusty Baker.
2. Billy Butler – How you find good pitches to hit while batting in a line-up of mostly cast members from Summer Catch is beyond me.
3. Neil Walker – A second baseman with power, who hits for the same average agaisnt righties and lefties = leaving Pittsburgh as soon as possible.
4. Casey McGehee – Managed to lead the Brewers in RBI despite Prince Fielder in the same line up. Might want to rethink all those million on Lil’ Cecil Brew Crew.
5. Nick Markakis – A near 200 hit season goes unnoticed because he plays in Baltisnore. Led a dreadful team in BA, OBP, and friends.

Brennan Lowery

1. Orlando Cabrera – Stellar at defense, solid OBP year in and year out, and a name that sounds like he could be a pirate, a hero on Star Wars, or one of the Lost Boys. Tell me this wide range of characters isn’t worth adding to your team!
2. Ryan Church – Even though he is starting to get a little more recognition, I still think he isn’t paid the due he deserves. Oh well, at least he will receive his eternal reward when he joins our Father, who art in Heaven…
3. Andre Ethier – The guy catches a ton of flack for his lower-than-it-should-be batting average and, as a result, sometimes poor pitch selection, but have you seen his hair and chiseled features?! He may not be toting a rock star OBP, but there is no doubt that he is crushing in the HBP (Hot Box Percentage).
4. Edgar Renteria – Look, I get it: the dude is old, crusty, washed-up, whatever else you want to say about this old, crusty, and washed-up player. But the fact of the matter is this: when the going got tough, this guy took tough and made it his lady. He took the World Series and made it the World Renteries. When someone helps you win your first title since just after the Korean War, you keep him. Capiche?
5. Stephen Drew – Sure, sure, he just signed a two-year deal with the Diamondbacks and it seems like all is well and good, but he basically had to fight tooth and nail with them in order to stay in Arizona where a) no one wants to play anyway, b) it gets old playing in front of 1,100 fans every game, and c) Arizona. Start recognizing that he is worth the money and pony up.

Brett Kettyle

1. Ryan Zimmerman – Overshadowed by Strasburg, Zimmerman had the fourth highest WAR in the majors despite playing for a terrible Nationals team.
2. Stephen Drew – Did you know that Drew finished with the second highest WAR of all qualified shortstops this past year?
3. Andres Torres – The Giants and Buster Posey grab headlines, but it was actually Torres who led the team in WAR this past season.
4. Shin-Soo Choo – Despite being on lists like this for the past couple years, Choo continues to be underrated largely because the Indians suck.
5. Tim Hudson – Coming off an injury Hudson finished with 17 wins and a 2.83 ERA. He doesn’t blow anyone away with his stuff but uses a dominant sinker to get tons of ground balls.

Connor Doyle

1. Nick Markakis, RF Baltimore Orioles – Markakis is the closest thing to a superstar Baltimore has had since Cal Ripken (Raphael Palmeiro’s stache aside), and puts up solid number every year while playing relatively studly defense. If only the rest of the Orioles could come close (Adam Jones’ stache, I’m looking at you.)
2. Ben Zobrist, Everything Tampa Bay Rays – Who would’ve thought in the mid-90s (or early 90s…or late 90s) that the (Devil) Rays would ever have enough star power to overshadow someone like the ridiculously versatile Zobrist, but his ability to play damn near every position while providing power and speed to a lineup is invaluable. Especially after this offseason’s mass exodus from Tampa.
3. Andre Ethier, RF Los Angeles Dodgers – Despite his mysteriously genre defying hair (Seriously, look it up, is it an afro? Is it jerry curls? Is it Malfoy hair?), and despite there somehow always being a more high profile outfielder in LA, Ethier is an under the radar standout at his position (oxymorons aside).
4. Jason Kubel, DH/OF Minnesota Twins – There’s something about the Twins that makes them a perpetual producer of outfielders who go ten plus rounds into your MLB 2k(x) (x=The year it is) Fantasy Drafts. The Koobs is no exception. Plus he instantly passes the nickname test. Koobs. Nice.
5. Yadier Molina, C St. Louis Cardinals – There. I named that Molina. Yadier manages to play excellent defense and put up decent offensive numbers year in and year out, but can’t seem to get the name recognition that should bring. Plus he’s by far the most fun brother to name. Yadier. Did it again. Still fun. Thanks, Ravech.

Evan Hill

1. Shin-Soo Choo – Baseball is generally flush with talented Outfielders, but if you’re in a fantasy league, you’re aware that OF has been a weak position that last couple years. Choo is one of the few extremely talented players at his position.
2. Daric Barton – Very few people recognize the name, but the A’s first baseman’s OBP of .393 was tied for fifth in the league.
3. Shaun Marcum – Everyone is talking about the Brewers adding Zack Greinke. Well expect Marcum to make just as big an impact — the guy put up strong numbers the last three years, while pitching in the AL East.
4. Ryan Zimmerman – Most fans know this guy, as they should, but he still doesn’t get enough credit. He’s one of the very best hitters in the National League. Expect his numbers to improve as his team does.
5. Delmon Young – The guy who posted awful rookie numbers, and threw a bat at an umpire? Forget all that. This 25-year-old just had an OPS of .826.

Shin-Soo Choo, if you’re reading this, feel free to use it as a tool in your next negotiations. Anybody else, throw your own list down in the comments section. We’ll see you next week!

Check us out on Twitter @DugoutDoctors

Season in Review: Oakland A’s

Preseason Prediction: 4th in AL West

Regular Season Outcome: 2nd in AL West

Summary

In spring training, the Mariners were the sexy pick in the AL West. Others also saw potential in the Rangers (rightfully so, apparently) and expected a lot out of the always successful Angels. There was very little hype surrounding the A’s, but thanks to their strong pitching staff they were able to come in second in the West with an 81-81 record. Oakland led the AL in ERA and quality starts (103), while coming in second in WHIP. Young starters Dallas Braden, Trevor Cahill and Gio Gonzalez all had successful seasons, and while the 22-year-old Brian Anderson lost half of his season to injury, he was able to post a 2.80 ERA in 19 starts. Their bullpen was equally strong, getting tons of quality innings out of closer Andrew Bailey, lefty Craig Breslow and righty Michael Wuertz.

The offense was not nearly as successful, due mainly to its lack of power (second to last in HRs in the AL– Kevin Kouzanoff led the team in HRs with just 16). They did have some guys who met the Billy Beane mold of underrated with a high OBP, namely first basemen Daric Barton (.393 OBP).

High Point

There were a lot of high points to discuss from their pitching staff, but clearly the highest came from Dallas Braden, who on May 9th pitched a perfect game against the Tampa Bay Rays. It was an exciting moment for the 27-year-old, who really put things together in his fourth season as an Oakland Athletic.

Low Point

In 2010 Ben Sheets was coming back from surgery, many teams were interested, but the A’s were willing to take the biggest risk. Though they’re a small market team, they invested $10 million in Sheets for a one-year contract. Though his numbers weren’t pitiful, a 1.39 WHIP and and 4.53 ERA were certainly not what the team was hoping for. What’s worse, due to injury, he didn’t make a single start after July 19th. The starting staff was great without him, and it leaves us to wonder what the A’s might have been capable of if they used that $10 million for a better Shortstop or Outfielder.

Ongoing Prognosis

Bold prediction time: The Oakland A’s will win the AL West in 2011. They’re returning their primary four starting pitchers, all of which were successful. Their bullpen still has closer Andrew Bailey, along with Breslow and Wuertz. Joey Devine, who was fantastic in 2008 will be returning from injury, and recent signings Grant Balfour and Brian Fuentes figure to bring even more excellent talent to the already successful pen. From top to bottom, the A’s staff is extremely talented and figures to be arguably the best in the league.

They also took steps to improve their offense, adding DH Hideki Matsui, and Outfielders David Dejesus and Josh Willingham. If those three (all of whom have struggled with injuries in the past) along with Coco Crisp (ditto) are able to stay healthy, their high OBPs should generate enough runs to compliment Oakland’s masterful pitching. And if that’s the case, the Texas Rangers can kiss their playoff chances goodbye.

This Week in Baseball: 1/17/11

First of all, I am heartbroken that I failed to mention Major League in my top 5 list this week. 61* is great and all, and I’m a sucker for movies made from true stories, but Bob Uecker’s turn in that film might be one of my 5 favorite comedic performances of all time. I have disgraced my family.

On to the news…

Winner of the Week: The Cincinnati Reds

And all because they signed Fred Lewis…

Not really. We all know the reason why. Signing Joey Votto, even though it’s merely a three year deal, makes it acceptable to be Canadian in downtown Cincinnati for the first time in history. Combine this signing with the fact that Jay Bruce and Aroldis Chapman will be around for a while, and you figure the Reds are going to be successful. Pair all of that with the fact that the Reds have one of the 5 best farm systems in baseball, and you’re looking at a lot of wins for a long time. Thanks to all of the offseason festivities in the NL Central, Votto was a must sign for the Reds, who now find themselves in a very challenging division. This signing fire a sort-of salvo at their rival redbirds in the division: we signed our All-Star, we’re ready to fight. The Cardinals now face a very challenging month, seeing as Pujols has set a spring training deadline for contract negotiations. Having Votto all sewn up prevents any speculation from teammates about will he go/will he stay scenarios, and allows everyone to focus on playing good baseball.

Losers of the Week (again): The New York Yankees

A few weeks ago, I said that if the Yankees made a play for Adrian Beltre, it would simply be out of spite. They passionately hated the fact that all of their toughest competition was out there getting better, specifically the Red Sox. They didn’t make a high-profile signing this December for the first time since the Nixon administration. So, clearly, the Bronx boys were like a Biggest Loser cast-off, standing in front of a Golden Corral; just chomping at the bit. The decision they made to satisfy those free agent hunger pangs? Throwing a ridiculous contract at Rafael Soriano, that literally gives all the power to Soriano. A three year deal worth $35 million for a set up man sounds ridiculous on its own. But when you factor in that the Yankees gave Soriano player options after every season, and the Yankees become the clear losers of the week. With this deal, they’ve shown something that the Yanks usually exploit in their foes: weakness. They were desperate enough to make a big signing, that they threw a Wal-Mart store’s yearly income at a guy who isn’t even going to be trusted closing games. He quickly becomes the 4th highest paid reliever in the league, behind 3 closers. He can leave the Big Apple whenever he wants, leaving the pinstriped princes vulnerable to the whim of their set-up guy. They want him to become the heir apparent to Rivera after Rivera’s two year contract runs up. But what if this year doesn’t go well? Soriano will take his money and run off to a competitor, and the Yankees take a giant step backwards. This team continues to get older and dumber. This is a recipe for losing.

Let’s Turn Two

Does it really make sense for the Cardinals to try and resign Albert Pujols? Honestly and truly? The argument for resigning him is pretty simple: he’s the best player in baseball, why wouldn’t you want him on your team? Let me tell you why.

First of all, St. Louis is a small market ballclub. Committing the $30 million per season that most think Big Al will command means that the Cards will be pumping an absurd amount of money into their team, with absolutely no promise of returns. They added Lance Berkman this offseason (that’s even more money spent), which will really be the only significant (and that’s debatable) addition to their team. This is a team that under-produced last season to a ridiculous degree. Keeping Pujols around is great for city morale, but it doesn’t guarantee wins. That means it doesn’t guarantee ticket sales, either. And for a small market ballclub, that’s not good news.

In addition, hat $30 million per season could go towards 2-3 really solid role players, which the Cardinals have always excelled in using. They rely on solid pitching, so why not use that money on a really solid starting pitcher? Think of it this way, Jay Bruce got roughly 8 million a season this winter from the Reds. Would you rather have Albert Pujols for $30 million, or three Jay Bruce-types, and $6 million left over? Pujols is a scary name to see on the line-up card, but going through a talented run of hitters that you can’t pitch around is much more difficult.

And yes, I’m a Reds fan, and would absolutely adore watching Pujols run off to the American League. But in all honesty, I think $30 million can be better spent than on one player. I like spending my money on more serviceable items, rather than one luxurious one. It’s a philosophy I’ve had since high school. I never dated a cheerleader or anything like that, but guess who had three 6’s (one of them might have even been a 7) coming to visit him at the awful grocery store he worked at? Quantity over quality, my friends. That’s why I live a happy, fat life.

Balls And Strikes

-Andy Pettitte is quickly becoming the Brett Favre of the Majors. Will he retire, or won’t he retire? Who knows? But at this rate, we’ll all be seeing weird pictures of his penis here soon.

-Trevor Hoffman, the greatest closer in history, retired this week. After the last few dreadful seasons, I find it kind of funny that Hoffman blew the save on his own career.

-Brad Penny signed with the Tigers this week. I really hope he fails, and not because I have anything against the guy. If I see one more ‘penny’ pun in a headline on a newspaper, I gauge out my eyes with boat oar. I can promise you that if he wins one somewhat big game, ‘A Penny Saved Is A Penny Earned’ will be a headline. Mark it down.

-It’s kind of tough for Manny to be Manny when he isn’t employed. Right now, Manny is being that guy with the sweet radio voice from the side of the road.

-Jim Thome found a job this week with the Twins. He’s good for one or two 900 foot homeruns a year, so why not?

Bottom of the Ninth

Manny being pursued by numerous teams should be a fun side note this week, but the real attraction will be the Cardinals trying desperately to resign Pujols. He’s like Luke Skywalker there, their only hope at relevance. They need him. And I think they’ll end up getting a deal done.

Until next time, let the thought of John Kruk pissing himself as a Randy Johnson fastball flies over his head put a smile on your face.

So long folks.

Top Remaining Free Agent Predictions

Back in October I wrote a speculative piece on the top seven free agents of 2011, and where they might sign. I was right on a couple, and wrong on others (come on, nobody saw Jayson Werth signing with the Nats). Now that the big guns have all signed, we can start looking at the second and third-tier guys who have yet to agree to terms. There was a bit of a logjam going on, but now that Rafael Soriano has signed with the Yanks, and Jim Thome has agreed to go back to the Twins, the pieces will start falling into place. And where will they end up? Here are some guesses:

Manny Ramirez, DH

He’s by no means the player he once was, but Ramirez still carries a lot of value. Never a great fielder, at this age he could really hurt any team that uses him in the field. The teams who are said to be interested in him (Angels, Rays, Blue Jays and Rangers) would use him strictly as a DH and late-innings pinch hitter. Though his power has greatly diminished, he still posted an OBP of .409 in limited play last season. Manny will sign an incentive-laden one-year deal and find a way to contribute. I don’t think anybody in Tampa will complain if Manny takes away at bats from Matt Joyce, so look for him to land there.

Predicted Destination: Tampa Bay Rays

Vladimir Guerrero, DH

Vlad had an amazing first year with the Rangers, posting an OPS+ of 122 in 643 plate appearances (his most since 2007). Like Ramirez, he isn’t going to contribute in the field due to his bad knees, so wherever he signs, it’s going to be as a DH. The Blue Jays could use a talented DH (right now, Edwin Encarnacion seems to be penciled into the spot), but they seem to want a guy who could also handle some 1B or OF. The Rangers are interested as well, but seem to have settled on Michael Young as their new “super utility/DH” player. This, in my mind, paves the way for Vlad to return to the Angels, who have struck out just about everywhere they’ve tried this off-season.

Predicted Destination: Los Angeles Angels

Andruw Jones, OF/DH

One of my favorite discussions is whether Andruw Jones belongs in the Hall of Fame. Now is not the time for that discussion, but keep your eyes peeled for a future article. It feels like Andruw has been around forever, but keep in mind, he’s only 33. And unlike Manny and Vlad, he can help a team out in the field (though he’s nowhere near the dazzling Centerfielder he once was). The Dodgers could be an interesting fit, though I think Jones left a bad taste in their mouths after posting abhorrent numbers in LA a couple years ago. A return to Atlanta is also a possibility, where he could platoon in CF with the left-handed Nate Mclouth. For now, though, it seems the team willing to throw the most money at the Boras client is none other than the New York Yankees. Jones would see some time in CF, more in LF, and spell DH Jorge Posada from time to time. Remember, the former All Star still hits lefties quite well, with a great deal of power.

Predicted Destination: New York Yankees

Johnny Damon, OF/DH

Like Jones, Damon can still play some OF, though he’s not very good out there. I see him as a perfect fit for the Dodgers. They disagree, saying they want a right-handed bat. I was sure Damon would end up back with the Tigers, where he posted an OBP over .350 for the seventh consecutive season. Instead, they handed the LF duties over to Ryan Rayburn and let Damon walk. The Yankees have talked about making him their 4th Outfielder. Though there hasn’t been much buzz around Damon going to the Blue Jays, I think it’s the best possible fit. He could split time between LF, RF and DH. Damon would be the perfect #2 hitter for that lineup, setting the table for guys like Vernon Wells and Jose Bautista to drive him in.

Predicted Destination: Toronto Blue Jays

Carl Pavano, SP

Pavano posted career numbers in 2010, and did it with a mustache. That was good enough to build a buzz around himself, even though he’s just an average pitcher (with a mustache!). Excuse me for not getting excited about a guy whose career WHIP is 1.34. But, the Twins fans embraced him as he pitched seven complete games for them last season (with a mustache!). Talk of him ending up anywhere else is silly, Pavano is sticking around the Twin cities.

Predicted Destination: Minnesota Twins

Brian Fuentes, RP

A guy can make bank after he’s given the title “proven closer,” and that’s just what I expect Fuentes to do. Though he’s now 35, look for the former Rockies and Angels closer to move in on a desperate team and insert himself into the back end of their bullpen. The Diamondbacks are a possibility, as are the Brewers, who hope to compete in 2011. But keep an eye on the Rays who lost their closer Rafael Soriano, as well as their primary set-up men Grant Balfour and Joaquin Benoit. Fuentes could simply walk up to the Rays and say “uhh, need help?” I’d say that’s enough to get a deal done. They still have money to spend.

Predicted Destination: Tampa Bay Rays

There you have it. If I get half of these right, I’m going to call myself a genius. Expect most of these (if not all) signings to go down in the next two weeks. Teams are going to want to have their rosters sured up well before spring training.

Check us out on Twitter @DugoutDoctors

Season in Review: Boston Red Sox

Preseason Prediction: 2nd in AL East

Regular Season Outcome: 3rd in AL East

My mother loathes Theo Epstein. She’s never forgiven him for letting Orlando Cabrera—her favorite player—walk after 2004. “He was the heart and soul of that team and you let him go? And what do we get? This Renteria guy? He’s trash.” She repeated that stuff ad nauseam the next summer. It didn’t help that Cabrera’s replacement, Edgar Renteria, lasted one year and committed 30 errors. I remained the lone voice of reason in the house. I had to point out that Edgar Renteria’s terrible year in Boston was sandwiched between three All-Star years. Theo’s fate was truly sealed when he traded Bronson Arroyo—another of mom’s favorites—for Wily Mo Pena, who struck out 90 times in 300 at-bats for a team supposedly built on plate discipline.

But now Theo’s signed Brad Penny and John Lackey in back-to-back years and I’m tired of defending him. The Daisuke Matsuzaka signing doesn’t help his cause much either and the Josh Beckett trade happened during his sabbatical. So, frustrated by a poor end to what started as a promising season, I blame this entire season on the John Lackey signing and Theo’s inability to effectively evaluate free agent pitchers.

Of course, that wasn’t really the case. I’m sure you’ll read this everywhere—and people may even use my upcoming boat analogy—but injuries sunk the 2010 Red Sox (the shaky bullpen didn’t help anything either). Jacoby Ellsbury played 18 games. Dustin Pedroia played 75. Mike Cameron played 48. Beckett spent two months on the DL. Kevin Youkilis missed all of August and September. Bill Hall played every conceivable position, including bullpen catcher. And yet this team still won 89 games because, while the Red Sox are terrible at evaluating free agent pitchers, they draft them extremely well.

Clay Buccholz fulfilled the promise of that 2007 no-hitter with a year that was worthy of Cy Young consideration; he was second in the league with a 2.33 ERA and led the majors with an ERA+ of 187. Jon Lester finished fourth in Cy Young voting, striking out 9.7 per nine innings. Daniel Bard was terrifying (in a good way) as a set-up man and may some day burn-out after two or three successful seasons as a closer. Jonathon Papelbon—potentially on the verge of burning out himself—pitched respectably, but who knows if he’ll ever regain his 2007-2008 form.

Sox prospects played well in the field as well. Jed Lowrie finished the year strong (.293/.385/.544 in August and September) and will hopefully stay healthy next year after suffering a wrist injury in 2009 and battling mono earlier in 2010. He’ll likely split time with Marco Scutaro at shortstop next year. At 22, Ryan Kalish looks like he’s only a couple years away from being an everyday starter after playing 53 games this year.

Since the end of the season, the Red Sox have traded for Adrian Gonzalez and signed Carl Crawford, Bobby Jenks, and Dan Wheeler. If those last two pitch well in the bullpen, 2011 looks to be a very good year. Luckily, the Red Sox didn’t sign any starters this off-season.

Next Page »