The Dream(y) Team: The Best Looking Players in MLB

(Ed. Note: Recently, my girlfriend asked if she could write a post ranking the most attractive players in baseball. I didn’t know whether to be excited or jealous. The following is the result of her extensive research.)

To say that my boyfriend is obsessed with baseball may be an understatement. Now, I understand that to most girls this might be a turn-off. I can certainly see how one could get frustrated with the subscription to MLB.tv, meaning that he can (and does) watch every game possible, and how one might get annoyed with one-sided discussions of “totally-under-discussed-but-really-important-and-telling” statistics. But generally, I’m not “most girls.” I truthfully really like baseball. I am sure of this because I get teary-eyed when he shows me pre-season commercials, hyping up America’s past-time with montages of the greats and remarkably inspirational music in the background. But after a few innings on the couch when the snacks are mostly gone and the “cheering” (ehem, yelling) is steadily getting louder and louder, I too can grow a bit weary of baseball. But the good news is that I’ve learned a coping mechanism. Here’s a little secret: there are a lot of very, very attractive baseball players. And since baseball is a relatively slow sport (some might argue), there are a lot of close-ups. You can totally make it through all nine or more innings, you just have to know WHO to concentrate on. This dream(y) squad will help. Check out my picks for the hottest player in each position:

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1B: Gaby Sanchez

Team: Florida Marlins
Age: 27
Relationship status: Married (Boo)
Fun fact: He’s Cuban, and he enjoys sky-diving. A spicy risk-taker! His Adam’s apple also protrudes the perfect amount.
Runner-up: Matt LaPorta

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2B: Chase Utley

Team: Philadelphia Phillies
Age: 31
Relationship status: Married (Boo)
Fun fact: He’s a HUGE animal lover, and has raised more than $45,000 for the Pennsylvania Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. So. Cute. Ripped but also gentle!
Runner-up: Robinson Cano

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SS: Hanley Ramirez

Team: Florida Marlins
Age: 27
Relationship status: Married (Boo)
Fun fact: Ramirez’s love of fashion gained fan attention when he wore bright teal cleats adorned with Mickey Mouse ears to the All-Star game. He even has his own clothing line called H2R. So if you can’t be with Ramirez, just dress your guy up in his clothing and call him Hanley. Close enough—he probably won’t even notice.
Runner-up: Jose Reyes

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3B: David Wright

Team: New York Mets
Age: 28
Relationship status: Single. GET IT LADIES
Fun fact: Started The David Wright Foundation that aims to increase awareness about MS. He is known to be very involved in charity, very nice to fans, very single, and he has a Delta Airlines plane named after him—the “David Wright Flight.” Oh wait, in other words—he’s perfect.
Runner-up: Evan Longoria

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Catcher: Joe Mauer

Team: Minnesota Twins
Age: 27
Relationship status: Unknown. You know what this means: GO FOR IT.
Fun fact: He is famous for the sideburns that he’s sported since joining the MLB, and in 2006 the Twins held “Joe Mauer Sideburns Night” in honor of him, giving out fake sideburns to the first 10,000 fans to arrive at the stadium. Sexy—everyone loves a good pair of sideburns.
Runner-up: Jarrod Saltalamacchia

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LF: Jacoby Ellsbury

Team: Boston Red Sox
Age: 27
Relationship status: Dating, and may have had a secret wedding. Emphasis on MAY.
Fun fact: He was raised a Mormon but stopped attending services as a teen. Still, if another lady gets there before you do, it’s not too late!
Runner-up: Josh Willingham

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CF: Curtis Granderson

Team: New York Yankees
Age: 30
Relationship status: Rumored to have a girlfriend. Just speculation though. POUNCE.
Fun fact: He released a book in 2009 entitled All You Can be: Dream it, Draw It, Become It!, which uses his own story to inspire kids to pursue their dreams. Adorable! If you can convince him that your childhood dream was to be with him he’d be required to fulfill it.
Runner-up: Torii Hunter

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RF: Jason Heyward

Team: Atlanta Braves
Age: 21
Relationship status: Unknown. SCOOP HIM UP
Fun fact: His first at-bat in the Majors, this past season, was a homer. Baller. Also his jaw-line is, objectively speaking, the sexiest thing on earth.
Runner-up: André Ethier

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SP: Cliff Lee

Team: Philadelphia Phillies
Age: 31
Relationship status: Married (Boo)
Fun fact: He turned down not one but TWO draft offers from MLB teams in order to attend college before playing. A lover of learning!
Runner-up: Edwin Jackson

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Closer: Huston Street

Team: Colorado Rockies
Age: 27
Relationship status: Married (Boo)
Fun fact: His father was the quarterback for the University of Texas, and his brother is a pitcher in the minor leagues. If you can’t have him, try for the rest of his athletic family! Then at least you can see Huston over the holidays.
Runner-up: Carlos Marmol

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